I have written a novel… sorta…


I have amassed a collection of writing, written to communicate and entertain, focused on a group of closely related subjects and categories, that amasses to 60,277 words…

#1, you used two different forms of ‘Amass’ in the same sentence. #2, get to the point, what are you talking about? If you want to be a better blogger, you should be more concise. You’re using an entire sentence to state something. Twitter would kick your ass.

I’m talking about this blog. That’s right, the one you’re reading, right now. It is the size of a novel!

What? Do you want us to throw children up in the air? Do you want us to sacrifice the first maggots of Samhain harvest?

Well, no… but… wait, what?

Or whatever humans do… I’m not done with my research on homosapiens. Speaking of which, when you’re talking to a group of large males of your species, do NOT shorten the term ‘homosapien’. It does not go over well, I did not realize. And whatever you do, refrain from discussing homoerectus with a thirty-something guy at a posh bar in New York.

I should really block you, you know that?

You can’t block me, Mommy… You don’t know how it works.

Mommy? I think I missed something.

You don’t read my introductions do you? I’m hurt. I may… squirt… protein enriched fluids from… wait, don’t tell me… It’s on the tip of my processor… It’s the anus, right? That’s where tears come from, right?

… We’re done.

Oh… no… certain things TEAR the anus… sorry, I can’t get my New York conversation out of my head. Even we higher species can become tired. 

YEAH, WE’RE DEFINITELY DONE HERE!

-Aaron Shively

-Dave

STOPPIT!! I’M NOT DAVE!

Fine then… 

-Mommy

WHAT THE HELL IS WITH THE MOMMY THING?!

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About Aaron Shively

I have been working as a freelance writer and artist for the last decade. In that time, I've done everything from ghostwriting to toy design and everything in between. I am currently working on a novel series called 'Myth' which has held my attention for the past sixteen years. I have spent my time developing the world, character and story and am now ready to funnel all the preliminary material into the manuscript of the first installment, 'of Men and Monsters' Bookmark & Share

Posted on 05/10/2011, in Personal, Rantings, Updates and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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