a small myth revision excerpt

I am not normal… I do not finish, then revise. I, like dozens of writers from the age of the typewriter, have compulsions to revise a chapter or a scene until I’m happy with it. While I revise one, part of my mind is connecting what I write with the ideas I’ve already jotted down for another. This is how I connect characters, plots and motivations.

This is a small excerpt for the first edits of the first chapter of myth. Which I have enlarged and made 3-4 chapters. Most writers throw too much into their story to begin with and, like sculptors, whittle down into their work. I have always been more like a draughtsman, building up layers from a blank canvas.

Andial stood, the single oddity among his kneeling and shielded men, unprotected from the never growing promise of painful murder. His eyes alone were witness to the undulations in the abyss. He was the closest to the edge, closest to the light, closest to an immediate death. Yet he was seeing this fright with something deeper than vision. He felt them move. He felt his men quiver. Above all, he felt the weight of that single thought. He was a victim of the truth that he was staring into another and vastly more terrifying night. He could not escape the undeniable irony that the celebrated heralds of the Armies of Obeiron were about to be slaughtered with such utter lack of ceremony.

The howls snapped him back to the battle. A large ash-grey body slipped in and out of lighted view. Another did the same nearer to the group’s flanks. Fifteen or more began bolting into sight then disappearing. Their jaws slashed through the air as they bit into the men’s fear.

This tactic was nothing new. It was how they had originally disoriented the Captain and his men. They had kicked up enough sand and sent them into changing position to face a new direction. It was how they covered the way out.

Something shot over the soldiers. There was a brief sound of alarm as a few of them lifted their weapons, training in on whatever had been sent through the air. A muffled whimper of surprise confirmed Andial’s first assumption. The missile was a piece of their own, taken earlier in the fray. Scarlet drops showered them. The blood was cold. He let it paint him, wake him and hush his self-assassinating mind.

His lieutenant, Herth, a man of twice Andial’s years came to his side.

“Captain, there’s no communication with the ship. Hasn’t been since we came through the caves.”

Andial nodded with barely-there movement. Herth paused for a few moments, custom predicated everything, even the promise of total obliteration. Too long had passed, though. He cleared his throat and spoke again.

“Sir, do you have orders for us?”

Andial lowered his blade. The light came from under him as he turned to his men. His lips curved into a coy smile that surprised everyone. More-so, it surprised him that the words he spoke were so calm, so collected, so focused to a penetrating point.

“Yes, I do. Follow me.”

Planning and strategy had fled from the battlefield after the first day.Leaving the lost soldiers with their unpredictable and inconsistently effective siblings, rage, force and bravery. The decision to move forward was instantaneous. There wasn’t a single thought put toward the choice yet it still seemed so right. So much more right, Andial thought, compared to the other option. He refused to stagnate in the dust and darkness, waiting for death to close in through the form of a beast’s gullet. He knew he would rather run straight into his end, weapon drawn and his men at his side. He was Aelphi. He was a Captain. He was a royal and his blood screamed for honor. He would accept nothing less. To allow death is to allow more than your life to be taken, that was what he had always been taught.

His voice raised with his sword and his men as he signaled them to charge forward.

“And remember, my Golden Guards, fight until you die!”


About Aaron Shively

I have been working as a freelance writer and artist for the last decade. In that time, I've done everything from ghostwriting to toy design and everything in between. I am currently working on a novel series called 'Myth' which has held my attention for the past sixteen years. I have spent my time developing the world, character and story and am now ready to funnel all the preliminary material into the manuscript of the first installment, 'of Men and Monsters' Bookmark & Share

Posted on 04/25/2011, in Excerpts, Myth, Myth, of Men and Monsters, of Men and Monsters, Projects, Updates and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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